Over the course of the last month, more than a hundred students at the North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics have developed the flu and many have missed as much as three weeks of school. However, Eric Bettner, the Research Triangle’s highest rated self-disinfecter, has remained healthy throughout!
Once the exclusive province of obsessive compulsive recluses, self-disinfection has become America’s fastest growing sport. Competitors are graded on a combination of the risks they are willing to take and the grace and determination with which they practice disinfection. For example, some competitors seek higher scores by braving riskier environments (think day care centers, pediatric offices, and airports) whereas others choose light bacterial loads and focus on the rigor of their disinfection regime.
Eric combines the best of both worlds. He bravely walks through the halls of his flu-ridden high school every day. And his self-disinfection regime is second to none. He washes his hands more than 100 times a day and frequently rubs Purell over every inch of exposed skin. According to experts, it’s rare to see a competitor so young with so much panache and discipline.
NGEFTO conducted an exclusive interview with Eric’s Coach, Dr. Switzer, who offered the following: “When Eric got to middle school I started to hear the buzz. You know how it is—parents and middle school coaches always want to talk their kids up as the next great thing. But when I saw the YouTube video in which he filled an entire bath tub with hand sanitizer and jumped in—I knew this kid was something special. And when I met him, my initial impression was confirmed—I could immediately tell that his OCD was strong enough that with a little help, he could go all the way!”
After three years of working together, Coach Switzer has taken Eric’s raw talent and turned him into a world class athlete. “Eric and I took his game to the next level with our red-zone disinfection protocol. Before and after every class he wipes his hands, face, pencils, books, and binders with Purell. He takes a shower every morning and evening. He eats with his left hand only and performs all other tasks with his right. The coup de grace was when he started to wear his surgical mask when he walked through the halls at school. This kid has all the skills.”
(At left–actual picture of Eric’s large and small sanitizer supply). Eric is Purell’s first sponsored high school student. In this role, he frequently posts YouTube videos extolling Purell with Aloe, his favorite sanitizer. As explained by Eric, “I love Purell. Being their youngest sponsored athlete is a dream come true. Beware of generic hand sanitizers—they are not your friend.”