On Monday, Liberty University announced the creation of 8 new full-tuition scholarships that will be awarded to incoming students beginning with the class of 2020.  These students will be known as the “Matthew 28:18-20 Scholars.”

According to Liberty University’s President, Jerry Falwell, Jr., these are the first scholarships in America reserved exclusively for first generation Christians.  “Other schools give scholarships based on athletics or academics.  But that is not what we are all about at Liberty—although we do have a really good football team.  The Matthew 28:18-20 Scholarships are reserved solely for children who were raised by non-Christians.  And the sole criterion will be—how much do these young men and women love Jesus!”

The creation of these scholarships has sharply divided Liberty’s campus.  Many of the faculty, students, and alumni believe that it is unfair for the University to give preference to first generation Christians. “My ancestors were Christians for more than 80 generations” stated Fred Tweedy, a sophomore.  “Why should a first-generation Christian get preferential treatment as opposed to me?  That’s just not fair.”

However, Falwell vigorously defended the new program.  “It’s easy to be a Christian if you have been raised by Christians.  However, these kids have been raised by atheists.  Instead of worshipping the Lord, their parents worshipped false idols.  Some of them were even raised by Unitarians.  But despite the fact the deck was stacked against them, these students overcame the odds and found Jesus.  That’s what we are all about at Liberty—finding Jesus.  Engaging in this kind of affirmative action is the only way we are going to have a level religious playing field in this country.”

However, the strongest challenge to the new program may come from without, as Edward Blum of Students for Fair Admissions has announced that the group will challenge the new scholarships as unfair to multi-generational Christians.  Falwell is undeterred: “Bring it brother.  I’ll walk into that court room, look them in the eye and say ‘Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world’ and then I am going to drop the mic and say ‘Amen.’  Think about that, Brother Blum.”