On Monday, Fred Curnutte admitted to his wife and the world that in fact, he never had herpes.

“I came of age in the 70’s” said Curnutte.  “Everyone except me had herpes.  How could I admit to my wife that I was so uncool that no woman had ever given me an STD?”  For 38 years Curnutte faked an outbreak once a year to bolster his story.  “I pretended to start having an outbreak right before my golf trip and when I came home I would say that I had recovered.   I even had my doctor prescribe acyclovir, for God’s sake.  I’m not proud of my behavior—but at least I had the courage to finally come clean.”

Fred’s wife, Brenda Curnutte, had this to say: “I won’t lie—it’s going to be hard to recover from this serial dishonesty.  But we’ve been married for almost 40 years so I will probably give him a second chance.  I’m just pissed at myself for being so naïve.”

NGEFTO contacted John Weber, head of Epidemiology at the CDC, who confirms this is not an isolated incident.  “We only know about the tip of the iceberg.  We believe that as many as 1 in 10 baby boomers falsely claim that they have been infected with an STD or hepatitis C.  The best policy is to trust–but also verify.  My advice is to insist on a letter from a doctor that confirms the alleged diagnosis.”