On Monday, the wildly charismatic Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke provided clarifying remarks regarding his earlier statement that he was running for President as a result of his vision.

“When I first announced that I was running for President, I explained that it was a result of my vision.  Unfortunately, many people have misinterpreted my statement and thought I was speaking metaphorically rather than literally.  In 1990 I attended a rave sponsored by my former hacking group, the Cult of the Dead Cow.  After taking two hits of X and eating a mushroom, I had a vision in which I became the President of the United States in 2020.  I am so proud that so many of you have agreed to help me fulfill my vision to become President of the United States in 2020.  I was born to do this and my vision confirms that fact.  We are going to come together as a country and have a lot of fun too.”