American Airlines seeks dominatrices to work as flight attendants and counter personnel. There is no higher and better use for your talents—our loyal customers love to be treated badly. Plus the uniform is boss. Applicants with prior experience in shibari will be given preference.
Seeks a female co-anchor for South Florida’s number 1 sports radio show. You must sound hot. It’s also a plus if you are hot and like middle-aged Jewish men named Ira.
ISIS, the world wide leader in terrorism, seeks recruit trained in Lean Six Sigma (black belt certified) to improve our processes and protocols. You must be able to work independently and within a group. Heavy preference for candidates with prior DMAIC experience and veterans of jihad. Fluency in Arabic required. Benefits include free cave and medical.