NGEFTO CLASSIFIEDS

CAREERS

COME FLY WITH US! 

American Airlines seeks dominatrices to work as flight attendants and counter personnel.   There is no higher and better use for your talents—our loyal customers love to be treated badly.  Plus the uniform is boss.  Applicants with prior experience in shibari will be given preference.

IRA ON SPORTS

Seeks a female co-anchor for South Florida’s number 1 sports radio show.  You must sound hot.  It’s also a plus if you are hot and like middle-aged Jewish men named Ira.

TRAVEL THE MIDDLE EAST! 

ISIS, the world wide leader in terrorism, seeks recruit trained in Lean Six Sigma (black belt certified) to improve our processes and protocols.  You must be able to work independently and within a group.   Heavy preference for candidates with prior DMAIC experience and veterans of jihad.  Fluency in Arabic required.  Benefits include free cave and medical.

REAL ESTATE

Beautiful Mission District home

4 BR, 4BA, 3,000 SQF Mission District home.  Hardwood throughout & updated kitchen.  Will entertain any all cash offer of more than $122 million.  Reply to editor@ngefto.com

SERVICES

MANLY PARTY PLANNING:

Are you sick of your kids going to sissy birthday parties with prancing pirates in tights and make-up and effeminate comic book superheroes?  Help your son host a MANLY birthday party.  Potential themes include: the military, fighting terrorism, shooting guns, shooting bows, deer hunting, use of weapons of all types, repelling carjackers, MMA, & fighting home invaders.  Special requests accepted as long as they are MANLY.

FOR SALE

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